Field Notes In/On Transition
Yesterday, realizing that I really had only one pair of ladies’ jeans to wear sometimes. I decided to try to find at least one more pair…
I integrated a couple of pairs over the last few month, but only one pair fit well, and seemed to “work” for me. I’ve also been slipping some women’s sweaters into my wardrobe of too big sweaters that cover my flab.
These items, my oft coloured nails, earrings have met with nothing but positive feedback, for the best part, awkward pauses occasionally, but I feel like what I’m doing by subtly “femme”-ing (but not necessarily in some cliched femininity, comfortable ladies shoes, comfortable ladies jeans, sweaters,) is learning in the manner that I’ve learned everything that I know, slowly, slowly absorbing all the information around me, forming ideas about whatever and discussing those ideas with people who also have an interest in the ideas.
So I hit the local Value Village, over on Hastings. Which if you live in the area, you know is often overpriced and uninspiring when looking for some specific piece. I do often though find something that I like when I decide to go “Lady shopping” (or man shopping for that matter, most of my clothes come from thrift stores.) Lately I’ve found several pairs of awesome shoes. Most of which aren’t comfy, but are pretty, it’s a tradeoff.
But today I was hoping for some jeans that weren’t all faded, and could be a bit dressier. I lucked out and found a nice pair, as well as a another pair; ripe to be knee length cutoffs, and a jaunty cap to add to my jaunty cap collection. Oh, and some shape wear that will come in tres handy.
I spent a bit more than I wanted to, but got some points on my card for a nice discount next time. I went home and tried things on again, most everything fit well, I am still a bit too barrel chested for the maroon camisole I found for 2.99.
The dressy jeans fit nicely. I put the cap and my leopard print fleece together with some fancy cheap sunglasses and too a stroll up “The Drive”, stepping around the usual throngs of hippie kids, pot dealers, angry panhandlers on cider benders, and, dog poop… the usual sunny weekend Drive activity.
I dropped off the kind of disappointing “Hugo” at the video store, and showed off my ensemble to my co-worker who gave me some awesome praise in the form of a hug. I almost cried. But I held it together and hopefully can keep “getting it” with my presentation.
I’m not going for (not too make a horrible pun out of myself) broad strokes in whatever my transition turns out to be. I’m slowly moving towards a new territory, but I’m scouting ahead, also getting intel from those who live there.
I too a long walk all the way up to Broadway and back, passing the Florida Market, I had a whimsy, and bought some ice cream. I headed back up to my street with said Cherry chocolate chunk, I hear from afar:
“Josie”! “Hey Josie”!
It’s my neighbour who lives kitty corner to me, calling from her kitchen window a few floors up… She remarked on the day, and I yelled out the joyous fact that I had ice cream and that she should come share it with me. She came over and we also shared some gossip, yakked about various issues, awkward situations we find ourselves in, and so on.
A really nice Saturday afternoon hanging out was/is something I am trying to do more of these days, as I have a tendency to once I get home from my morning coffee and errands, on the weekend, to just stay in and not do anything more with my weekend other than watching movies, TV, playing games, or just messing around on the internet.
Sometimes, Like today and the last couple of days, I’m able to get some writing, video editing, music making, or something else “productive” done. This weekend I feel really good about the balance of productivity, frivolity, and, of dipping my toe into my future, that I’ve been able to do.
Also the wonderful response I’ve received from people who saw my new blog, photos, that I’ve put up on facebook, and so on, has been overwhelmingly positive, and I’m extremely grateful to have such awesome people from so many different parts of my life, offering me support during this particular part of my life. XOX Peace Out - Josie.