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Showing posts from March, 2014

March 21st = my 2 years on HRT Anniversary.

Field Notes In/On Transition March 21st = my 2 years on HRT Anniversary. I had written one of those down in the depths of depression kind of blog posts, or most of one, earlier, this week. I deleted it all though, to start afresh. Because that’s what you do when you recover from an episode of real rolling around in the ashes, which was what that early part of the week was for me. All the things that were bothering me, most of which I have no control over, caught up with me. I had no hope. I was inconsolable, for a couple of days.  But I reached out on Facebook, and had a lot of really solid support, advice and love. This is one reason I love that there is something like facebook. The branding is meaningless, it’s the place where I can reach out when I feeling too low to talk in person, or call someone, I can simply look at other peoples’ lives and gain perspective. I don’t love facebook, but I love that pretty much all the people I love, are there, and reasonably active.

I need a new job to go with my new life.

Field Notes In/On Transition I need a new job.  I am left standing at the crossroads as much or more than anyone I know.  Working poor is the only life I have ever known. For about a year when I lived in Japan, the last year I was there, I felt like I was earning enough to live on, and I came back to Canada flush: around 10k in the bank and $1000 in my pocket (everyone carries that kind of cash in Japan, or at least they did when I was there) with plans to finish paying off my debts, after finding some job that paid me at least okay, and using my savings to pay the final 18 months or so I had left to pay off my consolidated debts.   Of course that didn’t happen. I spent 3 months applying for every job that seemed remotely like something I could do. Bupkiss. I had 3 interviews, two of which were so stupid that I’m glad I never got the jobs, that apparently, I was ‘overqualified for.’  The last was for the job I have, which doesn’t cover the bills anymore. (same wages,

Just One Of the Girls

Field Notes In/On Transition Just One Of the Girls 2014 so far, has been just as emotionally tumultuous as the end of 2013 was for me. But I feel stronger, more able to deal and process things, as March is here, and we have a bit of rare late winter (for Vancouver, this is late winter) snow in Vancouver. I feel very strongly that I am as I approach two years of HRT on March 21st, that I am reaching that life long goal that always seemed so out of reach to me, even earlier in my transition: to be “just one of the girls”, to  not just be accepted as a woman by close friends, Trans*, or CIS- gendered, but everyone that I meet. If we don’t shoot for the ideal, what’s the point? Falling short, inevitably, is where you learn. In the last few months I have really felt like I am sharpening, honing the person I am into the woman I am. If that makes sense. I have been consistently making new friends, and being complimented by acquaintances on my style, and how naturally comfortab